Abraham Lincoln did not own a dressage horse

Neither did James Garfield, William McKinley or J. F. Kennedy.

What did these men have in common? They were President of the United States at some point during this countries history.

They were also all assassinated at some point during their career which I am going to put down to Dressage enthusiasts, as you generally must be mentally unbalanced to entertain any notion that dressage is a sport.

However what this week has also taught me is that if you own a dressage horse you are not going to become President of the United States of America. Just ask Mitt Romney – quick correlation.

  • Obama, no dressage horse – President
  • Romney, has dressage horse – Loser

But what type of horse does the president own? Perhaps the Americans have a version of dressage that they have claimed as their own and call it “Super Sunday Horsecapades” and try to pass this off as a sport.

So I did a bit of research on presidential horses.

“George Washington’s had two horses, one was called Nelson the other Blueskin, Nelson had the nickname Old Onzie even though no one knows why the name was given to him (mysterious, much like a ninja!). The horse was acquired by Washington in 1779 and died in 1790 due to an accidental gunshot wound to the back, both horses served Washington pretty much throughout the War.”

You know what wasn’t mentioned in the above statement – at no point did Washington break from the American revolutionary war to tap dance to the mumbo on his horse.

In fact this sounds like the type of horse I want as first horse to any country. A war hero who lived and died by the sword/gunshot. Of course, I may improve the naming convention from old timey names to something a bit more upbeat – say Death Skull 69, but I’m really just splitting hairs.

As sign off I have a few final points

  •  4 out of 44 presidents have been assassinated????? – there’s almost a 10% chance you are going to die if you take this job
  • Dressage is not a sport

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9 Responses

  1. Ms X says:

    Hate dressage wish it would die

  2. Mr X says:

    Ms X you sound like a strange person. Why the hate? Can’t we all get along?

  3. Ms X says:

    Mr X haven’t you seen this site? All the obvious evidence stacks up!!!

  4. Mr X says:

    Take a chill pill, love the beauty of it all

  5. Mr Ed says:

    Do you know that we have fewer dressage competitors than at any time since 1917?

  6. I hate top hats says:

    Sounds like this website is having the desired effect then. I believe it’s similar to the extermination process polio experienced in the UK

  7. ms s says:

    this is the funniest shit ever 😀 dressage was invented for making horses more maneuverable in combat ya big dummy :’) this has to be a joke

  8. Maaaa says:

    Mr X stop spamming ! Dressage is a sport! Confirmed!

  9. K says:

    Holy fuck this is the stupidest shit I have ever read. Get some education buddy.

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